вы слишком долго были в Швеции... Опции

[Васёк]

Набрел на сайте австралийцев в Швеции
Конечно, Швеция отлична от Швейцарии, но некоторые пунктики, думаю, совпадают, другие же вызовут улыбку
Наиболее характерное я выделил жирным.


YOU KNOW YOU’VE BEEN IN SWEDEN TOO LONG WHEN...........

2. As you walk past a building in Stockholm, and see the statue is titled "Svinhuvud" you no longer read it as "Swinehead" ... instead you think "What a good Swedish name!"

3. The first thing you do upon entering a bank/post office/chemist etc. is to look for the queue number machine.

4. You accept that you will have to queue to take a queue number.

5. When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume:
a: he is drunk
b: he is insane
c: he's an American

10. Silence is fun.

11. The reason you take the ferry to Finland is:
a: duty free vodka
b: duty free beer
c: to party hearty...no need to get off the boat in Helsinki, just turn around and do it again on the way back to Sweden.

12. Your coffee consumption exceeds 6 cups a day and coffee is too weak if there is less than 10 scoops per pot.

13. You pass a supermarket and think "Wow, it is open, I had better go in and buy something!"

17. Your idea of unforgivable behaviour now includes walking across the street when the light is red and there is no WALK symbol, even though there are no cars in sight.

18. Your notion of street life is reduced to the few teenagers hanging out in front of the railway station on Friday nights.

20. Sundays no longer seem dull with all the shops closed, and begin to feel restful instead.

22. You have only two facial expressions – smiling or blank. Also your arms are just hanging down when you chat with other people.

24. Your old habit of being "fashionably late" is no longer acceptable. You are always on time.

25. Hugging is reserved for sexual foreplay

27. You refuse to wear a hat, even in minus 20 degree weather.

28. You hear loud-talking passengers on the train. You immediately assume:
a: they are drunk
b: they are Finnish
c: they are American
d: all of the above

35. You have undergone a transformation:
... you accept alcohol as food

43. You know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed."

45. You know that "men’s public bathroom" is another phrase for footpath.

51. You accept that 80 degrees C in a sauna is chilly, but 20 degrees C outside is freaking hot.

52. An outside temperature of 5 degrees C is mild.

53. It no longer seems excessive to spend 1,000kr (110 euro) on alcohol in a single night

55. You think that riding a bicycle in the snow is a perfectly sensible thing to do.

56. You have conversations with people outside when it is –10C.

58. You regard it as sensible to eat ice cream when it is –15C.

59. You regard it as sensible that the ice cream van comes around playing that annoying song when it is -15C.

60. Someone calls you a ”good moron” first thing in the morning and you smile acknowledgement.

63. You associate Friday afternoon with a trip to systembolaget (до последнего времени государственная алкогольная монополия запрещала продажу алкоголя по выходным. Теперь продают до 1500 в субботу).

64. You think nothing of paying $50 for a bottle of 'cheap' spirits at systembolaget

66. It seems sensible that the age limit at Stockholm night clubs is 25.

72. You think it's more fun to stay at home and drink then go out.

75. You get extremely annoyed when the bus is two minutes late.

76. You think women are more than equal than men and deserve to have better positions in the work place.


77. Your wife watches TV while you look after the kids.

78. You become a punctuality freak and dump your friends for being late more than once.

81. You've been engaged for four years and don't have any plans to get married.

83. You and your friends know exactly the same information, and have the same attitudes and beliefs in the value of Social Democracy.

85. You think that if you smoke a joint you will wind up in an insane asylum. [or become a habitual criminal]

88. You have an uncontrollable urge to mail this list and point out the numbering is incorrect!

95. You assume that anyone who apologises after bumping into you is a tourist.

99. It seems reasonable that even those begging for money at T-centralen reach for their pocket as the melodic music of the Swedish mobile phone resounds.

102. You understand that when a colleague asks you out for "a drink," it will probably be a long night with a severe hangover the next day.

103. You start to think that having a sauna in the nude with a bunch of strangers is a necessary part of daily life ... and a necessary part of business.

104. You start to differentiate between types of snow.

107. You become extremely skilled at assembling pre-packaged furniture kits.

115. You accept that you will never again wear your beautiful stiletto heels because:
a: there's snow everywhere and even if you did then,
b: you still have to take them off at the door which instantly ruins the hitherto glamorous line of whatever you were wearing as you drop, 10cm, onto your flat feet in your short and sexy little black dress. Not the same effect at all.

116. When offered a bottle of beer the first thing you look at is the alcoholic percentage.

118. You can't contemplate actually doing anything until you've first had a 'fika' (with coffee AND cake).

119. You think it entirely reasonable to pay $40 for a five minute chat with the doctor.

120. You use the alcohol percentage-per-kroner standard for measuring the quality of beer and wine.

121. You think it is normal EVERYTHING is regulated and you obey the rules voluntarily.

128. Hearing the words f*ck and shag on daytime TV seems perfectly normal.

130. You mutter "oy,oy,oy" continually to yourself even though you are the only one in the room.

137. You expect to find the glove you dropped in February hanging on a post in June

144. You will squeeze past somebody rather than say excuse me.

157. You start looking at socialbidrag (welfare) less as an absolutely desperate last resort and more as a way of life.

168. You take two hour naps at work and the idea of losing your job never crosses your mind.

170. You take it as a given that your wife/husband will get so wasted on Midsommar that he/she will end up in bed with someone other than yourself.

179. You can't throw a plastic bottle away with out having a guilty conscience.

185. You find yourself wobbling home from the pub on your bicycle.

187. You hide 5 or 6 bottles of spirits in your suitcase, one or two in your backpack, and put just one in the duty free shopping bag. (1L – мах лимит на импорт алкоголя)

200. You are no longer offended by the fact that you are a Swedish size XL when at "home" you are a medium.(бедные австралийцы))

202. When visiting others you try to go in first. If it's locked THEN you ring the doorbell.

233. People buy you a drink in November because they remember when you bought them one in March.

236. A 25 % sales tax on just about everything is no big deal.

251. You think the songs played at "The Eurovision song contest" are instant hits.

275. You no longer expect to just "call in" unexpectedly on a friend.

280. You know you have to hurry home to stop the ice cream from getting too hard.

304. Swedes saying Va' (=what?) to you is still annoying (even after ten years), not to mention that there is no real word for “please”, or?

309. All of your conversations resemble a chess game, with each participant quietly and patiently awaiting the other to finish their turn.

319. A seven-year-old with his own mobile phone seems perfectly sensible.

321. You know the Swedish national anthem better than your own.

329. Your wallet contains more plastic than a Hollywood superstar.

339. You feel a certain sense of pride when you see Swedish people in films or on foreign TV shows.

344. You know that going for a coffee is a first date.

349. You are no longer surprised when you see full-frontal male nudity in a commercial or on TV.

351. You can pick out the real blondes from the fake blondes.

358. It seems sensible that you need to be at least 25 to buy a bottle of red wine.

360. You are terrified of meeting you neighbour in the stairwell.

363. You think there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.

366. You think is perfectly normal that people get in to nightclubs/restaurants with innerbandy stick and shopping bags.

367. You think is perfectly normal that nobody talks on the bus, train or tunnelbana.

375. Your house is starting to look like the showcase to IKEA.

376. You think it's acceptable that builders start banging and hammering at 5.30am.

377. You are horrified if you see anyone drinking wine with their lunch.

381. You inform your partner six months ahead of a weekend when you will be playing cricket/rugby/football.

382. You tell the ticket office staff that you have seen someone drinking beer on the underground station platform.

383. YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE LIVE ANYWHERE BUT IN SWEDEN!!!!

[SnowedOver]

Набрел на сайте австралийцев в Швеции
Конечно, Швеция отлична от Швейцарии, но некоторые пунктики, думаю, совпадают, другие же вызовут улыбку

да там же было пунков 300 вроде))) ничего себе ты стока чикал))) :P